Why is it so hard to say I am pretty?
02 Aug 2015
How often do you look at yourself in the mirror and say ‘ I am looking so pretty today?’
And how often do you say something negative to yourself like ‘My hair looks crap, these clothes don’t look right’ etc?
Have a think about it for a second… Which would you say more often? Are you really acknowledging when you look good or do you find it easier to focus on the things you are unhappy with?
I was chatting with a friend recently and she was explaining that she isn’t happy with the extra few kilos she is carrying at the moment and that she actually avoids mirrors, so that she doesn’t have to look at herself at all. Even the mirrors in her home are deliberately avoided.
This shocked me. This girl looks great and yet she rarely looks at herself in the mirror and acknowledges how good she looks! Plus I have since found out that there are sadly many women who do this. I must admit, I have a few mirrors in my house. One in my bathroom, one on my bedroom door, and one in the lounge room right near the front door. I look in all three of them every morning at least. Does this make me vain?
Well I don’t believe so. I am not staring for hours on end at myself… I am having a look at my chosen outfit, my hair, make up (if I have any on) and the majority of the time I am pleased with what I see. I am taking pride in my appearance. I usually make a mental note that I look good and so, I feel good.
There are some mornings after a big night when I look in the mirror and I don’t think I look as good as I could and I make a mental note then, that I should probably have one less wine in the future ;)
So, my gorgeous friend asks me if I am happy with my figure. I say ‘Yes I am’. (Which is the truth) I also admit to her that I think I look good and am pretty happy overall. But, I then did something that I think is a very common thing for women to do when they are talking positively about themselves – I kind of ‘put myself down’. I said ‘I know that I am not a model, but I still think I look good’
Why did I need to add the bit ‘I know that I am not a model’? Was it because I was worried that I would come across as a little vain?
I think so. I was feeling a little uncomfortable admitting that I think that I look good. I didn’t want to come across as ‘up myself’ or ‘full of myself’ as I am not. I just have a reasonably good self esteem. (It hasn’t always been this way, as you would know if you have read my waiting for my boobs to grow post or freckles one)
This got me thinking, women, mainly, will so easily admit to any flaws that they think they have, but really struggle to admit to the great bits about them. Why is that?
I was told growing up that you shouldn’t brag or you will be seen as ‘up yourself’ I think a lot of people were taught this and I think this may be why sadly a lot of us have actually gone the opposite way.
The amount of times I have heard women say, or write on social media ‘ I don’t like this about me or, I want to change that, or If I just lost some weight, or I don’t look that good’. I could go on and on. But it is very rare for me to hear a woman say ‘I looked so good tonight, I felt really sexy in that outfit, or I am so happy with how I am looking right now’
It makes me really sad that it seems to be more acceptable for women to put themselves down than the other way around. Even when girls receive compliments, I can see that some can get uncomfortable. They will say ‘Thanks, but…..’ and then point out a flaw of theirs straight after.
I have in the past been guilty of doing this. If someone said to me ‘You look great’ I would usually say ‘Thank you, but I just got my hair done, or I have a lot of make up on or I wish I had worn a better outfit’ I would like the compliment of course, but I didn’t want to just say ‘Thanks’ as I didn’t want it to come across as ‘Thanks, I agree with you, I look so good!’ That would just be arrogant wouldn’t it?
Well, not really. I don’t believe by thanking someone for the compliment that you are being arrogant. You are thanking them for noticing that you look good and you are happy to politely agree. Unless of course you were going on and on about how awesome you were and how sexy you were, then yeh, that would be a bit much!
How do we get more women to talk about themselves in a more positive way? Do you notice women talk more easily about things that they are unhappy with than happy with? I would love to hear your point of view. Tell me something about your body, looks, anything that you love about yourself in the comments below. I’ll get the ball rolling.
I think I have a great figure, nice hair and eyes. Your turn!
Kellie Claire xx