12 things to NOT do on a first date
15 Apr 2017
I like going on dates.
I know some people cringe at the thought, but I enjoy dating.
Meeting new people, hearing interesting stories, flirting, and enjoying a night out is fun for me.
I’ve had a few dates lately. Some I met out, and some have been from dating apps.
I must admit, I have had some great dates. But I have also had some not so great ones.
While on these dates, I have noticed guys doing or saying things that I would not recommend people do on a date.
I’m sure both girls and guys can probably relate to these, but I can only give my perspective on dating guys.
All of the below scenarios, I have actually experienced one or more times recently.
It doesn’t matter how attractive someone is, or how nice they are, it is very unlikely that I will agree to a second date if they do any of these things.
1. Don’t keep checking your phone.
Put your phone away or on silent and actually listen and talk to the person that has taken the time to meet you. If a guy is on his phone a lot, I lose interest very quickly.
2. Don’t constantly talk about your exes.
I personally don’t want to hear anything about them really. Good or bad.
It makes you look like you’re not over them. When someone starts doing this, I think I must get a bit of a glazed over look on my face.. It happens more often than you might think.
Don’t tell me about the women who have let you down while dating either. Everyone gets rejected or avoided, I don’t want to hear about your past rejections on a first date. It makes me feel bad for you, not impressed.
3. Don’t grill us about our exes.
A few questions are fine, but don’t ask so many questions and not get the hint if the person you’re with tries to change the subject. I have had a few guys ask so many questions, that I had to tell them more than once, that I don’t want to talk about any of my exes. I really don’t!
4. Don’t talk over the person you’re with.
Listen to what they’re saying instead of just thinking about what you want to say next.
I was on a date the other night and he was so busy trying to interrupt any story I was telling with one that he had that was similar. I ended up just not bothering to talk and let him do it. And he was surprised when I didn’t want to see him again..
5. Don’t fire questions at your date like you are interrogating them.
Just relax and enjoy the conversation, it’s not a job interview!
On one date, he just kept asking questions one after the other. As soon as I answered one, he had another one ready. I felt like he was ticking off boxes in his head, instead of enjoying my company.
6. Don’t tell your life story.
Keep a bit to yourself to tell the next time your date sees you, if there is a next time.
I actually enjoy hearing someone’s life experiences and love a deep conversation, but you don’t need to tell me everything on the first date!
7. If your date offers to pay for something, and she insists, let her.
I tried to go halves on a dinner date recently. I got money out and he would just not accept it, even after I insisted. I think it’s lovely if a guy offers to pay, but if I insist on paying for myself, I’m not just being polite. I will often insist on paying for my meal if I’m not interested in the guy. I don’t want to feel guilty for getting a free meal.
8. Don’t ask your date if they are dating anyone else or when their last date was.
If you met them on a dating app, then it would be safe to assume that they are talking to other people too. I’ve had guys ask when I last met up with someone and how it went. Ummm, I’m single, I can see who I want, when I want, and not feel guilty about it. That is the beauty of being single! I don’t want to lie, and pretend you’re the only person I’m talking to, so just leave it.
9. If you try to go in for a kiss, and they don’t want to, then accept it.
I went on a date recently and he went to kiss me and I pulled away. He then tried again about 3 times! I told him that if I wanted to kiss him, I would, so stop trying!
I might have actually kissed him if he hadn’t put the pressure on.
10. Don’t stick to the one subject the whole time.
People like it when someone is passionate about something, but everything in moderation! On a date recently, I quickly found out that he really liked cars. He talked about them the whole time and even showed me photos of cars he likes. Boring…
I tried changing the subject, but he was pretty set on telling me more about cars..
11. Don’t try to pretend you are something you’re not.
Be yourself. Your date will want to get to know the real you, not what you think they might want to hear. Tell them about yourself and what you really like to do in your spare time. Don’t try to make out you are perfect, most of us have a bullshit radar.
And even though the person you are talking to might buy what you’re saying on the first date, the truth generally comes out pretty quickly.
12. Don’t put any expectations on what will come of the date.
Obviously you’re not going to feel a spark with every person you go on a date with. Try not to put any pressure on yourself or them, and just go with the flow.
You might be looking for a relationship, or you may be just looking for some fun, and they may or may not feel the same as you. So just enjoy their company and see what happens.
In saying all this, I don’t think I’m that fussy. If someone is genuine, makes me laugh, smells good and looks like he takes care of his appearance, then I’ll most likely go on a second date. That’s not too much to ask right?!
Kellie Claire xx